California Girl: Duck River Edition. A Reflection on James 1:2

In the space of eight years, I have moved from California to Missouri to Tennessee.  This is no mean feat as I turn 78 in November this year.  Relocating, whether it’s leaving a long held job to move into retirement or literally to pull up stakes and relocate to another place, these possibilities have loomed large in my life since 2010.  I retired and 7 years later moved from California to Missouri.  In that seven year span of time, I looked at what I had, materially, many times.  The question that arose time after time was what don’t I need? 

Unfortunately, I was still very attached to my worldly goods.  Sentimentality, memories, ties to the past, call it what you will but I held on to it all.  I held on tightly.  I had made the mistake of not only defining myself by the things I treasured, I also added to what ultimately turned into a terrible burden.   Knickknack became my middle name.  So, when the time came, in 2017, to move to Missouri, instead of having less, I had more.  And try as I might, I could not let a lot of it go.  My husband, God love him, would have pitched it all but thankfully, he was patient and it all (well mostly all) moved to Missouri with us.  Materially, I had not yet learned the lesson of when enough really is enough.

Financial questions are high on anyone’s list.  Will I have enough to retire?  How much will I need to live at the standard I am living now?  When is the best time to retire?  What age is best?  What amount of trade-off is best in relationship to time put in?  As I pursued these questions, I found that having a solid plan and following it for decades to prepare for the future was not necessarily, well, necessary.  After 15 years of SSI retirement income and two pensions, we actually have enough.  We won’t be doing the dreamed of traveling but in choosing a simple life and living near family, we discovered that while we don’t always have what we want, we always have what we need.

After eight years of living in Missouri, The Book of James Chapter 1:2 became especially meaningful.  James tells us to “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds”.  By the spring of 2024, it was becoming very clear that we needed to leave Missouri and the little town we thought we had settled in forever.  An emptiness, a hollowness had invaded our life.  The hurt and disappointment that we were experiencing led us to decide that we must move once again.  Our daughter’s family lived in Tennessee, 2 ½ hours away, and we realized that we were not feeding what was most important to us.  We were not feeding our love for our family.  Visits were too far between and too short when we had them.  By the end of July 2025, we were moving again.

Moving at 77 and 81, respectively, is not easy.  We were fortunate to find a small 3-bedroom house just 40 minutes from our daughter.  A drive of that length is nothing compared to the almost 3 hours we had before moving.  By this time, I had begun to rid myself of much that I acknowledged I did not need.  But, as before, there was still too much.  It was now that James’ message of finding joy in trials became a flashing banner in the reasoning portion of my mind.  When one is faced with moving a 5-bedroom, 3400 square foot house into a 3-bedroom, 1700 square foot house, there are certain spatial challenges that have to be met.  My daughter, who gets her lack of sentimentality from her father, tasked herself with showing me the way to lighten the load.

It really is quite extraordinary but I took to letting go with a vengeance.  I don’t know if it is age or increased Faith in God to always have exactly what I need, but my lack of attachment suddenly took flight.  Like any great and worthwhile endeavor, divesting myself of possessions will be a layered experience. We are one month into unpacking our life and thanks to my daughter, and I imagine our son and his wife who will be here in a few weeks, the rooms are now becoming livable. After completely settling in, I have promised myself to start reducing my library by donating to our local public library.  Many of my knickknacks are actually gift-able items that others might enjoy.  I already have a bag filled with devotionals, prayer cards, old Magnificats, etc. that will find a home on the table at the back of the church that others can pick up and enjoy. 

I didn’t expect it but facing the clutter of my life has done more than lighten the load; it has also lightened my soul.  And a lighter soul leave more room for others and, most importantly, for God.